Dear God.

Dear God,
I don't know any other way to tell You than to just come out and say it: I've let You down, Father, and I'm so sorry.
It happened the same way it's happened so many times before: I felt the pull of the temptation. I walked over to take a closer look- telling myself that I wouldn't get too close. But I just keep walking- closer and closer. With each step my conscious thoughts- of You, of what I was about to do, of where I was going- began to shut down.
By the time I got to the edge of it, I was numb. Numb to You. Numb to the promises I've made. Numb to the hurt my actions would cause me and those I love. All the warnings I'd heard just a short while before were silenced. My mind and my heart were iced over with nothingness. And then I took the final step. It was as if I were on autopilot.
Then when the deed was gone, the freeze on my heart began to thaw and reality began to dawn once again. The ache in my heart began to anew. The shame. The regret.
It took everything in me to come to You this time. Voices in my head tried to tell me that You were sick of my weakness. Sick of my sin. Sick of me. But somewhere deep in my heart. I remembered Your Son and His sacrifice.
Lord God, is it possible for me to finally master this sin? Will I ever have victory over it? Do You even hear me after I've disappointed You so many times?
Your Penitent Child